Have you ever wished that time could just stand still? Time that you could bask in the joy of that moment or to put off something that you dread?
Last July brought that feeling to me on a daily basis. Every single minute spent with my daddy wishing that I could stop what I knew was coming. Savoring every single minute that I could hold his hand and talk to him. Hanging on to every word he spoke to me. Basking in the warmth of his hugs. Praying daily for time to be still. Those 29 days of watching him slowly drift away are the worst days I’ve ever experienced and yet I cherish every one. I thank God often for the blessing of being able to be with daddy and care for him those last days. Those last chances to say I love you and to say those things that I wanted to be sure he knew. I whispered in his ear, kissed him on his head, held his hand and cared for him the best way I knew how. It was in those days that I found peace because I knew that he knew how much I loved him. I also knew that he was ready to go into the arms of Jesus where he could rest and be pain-free.
Shortly after daddy passed away mom gave me one of his watches. When the watch was on my arm I noticed that the time was standing still. For almost a year I have worn that watch without replacing the battery. I’m not really sure why except that for some reason it gave me peace. As though it was a reminder to stop, to take time to enjoy life, to savor the preciousness of every single day and as a reminder to cherish every minute. Just over a week ago I felt a yearning to bring that watch back to life. It was a nagging that just would not go away so I finally inserted a battery and immediately the hands began to move as though to say “even though you lost something precious, time moves on.”
I hear of people who live with regret for the things they left unsaid. Hug those that you love often and tell them what you want them to know while they are here. Forgive and let go. There will come a time when you might not be able to speak those words to them in person.
While I miss my daddy more than words could ever express, I have peace because he knew I loved him. I told him often….
Journey to a Simpler Life 
I know losing your father has been a difficult journey for you. You’ve expressed your feelings well. It’s a process you have to go through.
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Nicely said, ma’am.
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Beautifully said.
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It took everything within me to read these beautiful words. I knew from the beginning this was going to make me cry. My heart was beating out of my chest because as I read every word I could hear your sweet voice as if you were talking directly to me. Death is a victory but in this world it is very painful. I feel your pain. Your Daddy was an amazing man and I was blessed to know him. I am blessed to call myself a part of your family and most importantly I am blessed to know you and have you as my bestie. I love you girlfriend! Thanks for sharing your precious heart. Thanks for the reminder to “Be Still.” Life is a precious gift from God and I’m so glad we get to do this thing called life together. We’ve certainly shared years of Joy, laughter, pain and sorrow, and probably put a few gray hairs on our precious parents. I wouldn’t trade our friendship for a thing.
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Such comforting thoughts, Kimberly. Time….be still. So often I yearn for the same thing. Always share your feelings and thoughts with those you love. Once passed, time does not return. Make the time to say all that you must.
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